Field study in Koppal district

This last week I was out on my first field assignment, sounds cool right? The whole group took an overnight train to a northern district of Karnataka (the state in which Bangalore is located) called Koppal. This is a very rural district where we helped build a meditation building for the less privileged people to find peace and serenity. We also spent a lot of time with girls who are descendants of temple prostitutes and spoke with women who have taken a stand and been able to declare themselves the last generation of temple prostitutes in their districts. During the week we spoke with farmers and bonded labor children who have to work to fund their fathers’ drinking problems, human hair wig makers, handloom and machine loom household industries, Dalit “untouchable” people, the superintendent of the police force in Koppal(the police in India are notorious for their corruption in soliciting and taking bribes), and we visited Hampi(ancient Hindu ruins). It was a packed week in which we met with and exchanged cultural knowledge with countless people.

We went to a movie one of the nights and I had a wonderful chat with one of the Visthar staff members named Nasser. Him and I discussed concerns about the psychological affects of the Devidasi (temple prostitution) system on the girls who have been brought to the Visthar schools. I mentioned having noticed a closeness between Nasser and the girls, a claim he acknowledged by saying many of the girls saw him as a father figure. These girls’ fathers do not publically acknowledge them or often even indirectly support them. It is strange for me to wrap my mind around the idea of parents not claiming their children where my parents often embarrass me with social, public praise at gatherings.

We began to chat about how so much of what we learn as socially acceptable is from watching and being advised by parents. Nasser told me the girls do not replace their mothers with the house mothers that take care of them at the school, yet in most cases they do not ever know their fathers so they are easily replace by him. It may be due to their lack of interaction with the opposite sex at an all girls school and coming from a home where the only parent was female. Visthar has, in the past 1 or 2 years, begun to mentally prepare their students for a world where their are men they will need to positively interact with and causes me to shudder at the possibilities were this counseling not available to them. I super cautious when it comes to men, yet if these girls are either paranoid or careless in their dealings with the opposite sex in a world where men mainly dominate their lives could be inexplicably difficult despite the great start Visthar’s education and practical skills teaching has given them.

This one hurt

I am angry.

We just got back from our night out at an establishment we thought was going to be a good place to hang out and chill after a long studious week. It ended up being a strip club and all 13 of us loud, obnoxious, white-skinned Americans were given the best seats in the house. We of course failed to notice a few obvious cultural signals until it was too late: the only women there stood in a line instead of groups wearing extravagant saris or pants that were way to tight for Indian standards, the men looked at the women and us with hungry smiles, all of the benches were facing into the dance floor and the women, and there was a sign on the door that said “Ladies Services” in large, bold letters. Outside of the place we sat and waited for our swaraji bus to arrive as cars pulled up or slowed down, rolling down windows and giving us 10 ladies and 2 guys the same looks that men were giving the women on the dance floor; they looked hungry and expectant. When we passed by one of the cars the men in that car had gazes that intensified and I felt forcibly naked, worried that they could see through my kurtah.

I am so sick of being in a large, totally conspicuous group of loud, obnoxious, white-skinned Americans and my desire to detach from my home country is intensified. It’s not fair that I have beauty preference and privilege in this vain country because of my fair skin color, but it’s also not fair that I should be labeled a loose woman or even a slut for that same “privilege” which I disdain. Being a minority, even if it is a good thing sometimes, is degrading to me.

I am fuming about the women who are stripping in that upper room all decked out in beautiful saris just so they can take them off. When we got back I rushed back to my room feeling disgusting for even wearing jewelry at all and feeling it burning so much that I want to rip it off as fast as I can. We don’t want to judge these people, but we all did. I want to physically slap the men at the bar we went to and yell at them how precious and personal a person’s body is and how it ought to be valued and kept sacred! I want to shake them, saying that bodies are not to be made into a commodity as the world markets would have it be! I want to smash in the smile of the men glaring hungrily, lusting after a human being, and tell them about the intellectual power of a woman and how that makes her truly beautiful, a wild and magnificent stallion that need not be tamed only respected.

My inner wild and magnificent nature is not, will never be tamed

and I am so angry…

This week we are doing yoga with an instructor every morning this week, and I plan on continuing it while I am here and hopefully when I get home too because it is a great way to start the morning. Other than that and breakfast, the days are not super regular. On days there is class we start around 9:15-9:30 am, have chai and biscuits around 11, then class again until lunch at about 1 or 2, and then either some type of speaker or experience for a couple hours in the afternoon evening.

All water I consume, even for brushing teeth, is filtered and the food has given my stomach a round trip ticket to the bathroom many times...however, I am feeling much better today after being sick for 5 days. Sometimes, especially when I was sick, I take food that I want to try and end up not liking it, then I proceed to either make myself throw up by eating it or to simply throw it out. I feel guilty about “simply” throwing it away and am reminded of the walk I took through the slum and the beggars at the basilica. I feel so spoiled and privileged and white. I wonder how much the average Indian associates the color of my pale skin with the negative connotations such as being wasteful or if I am “simply” seen as privileged and unaccountable. I sometimes feel as if I am personally a part of colonization, whether I like it or not.

We are all in a dormitory-type building in which we all have a roommate and a bathroom to share in each room, which is much nicer than I was expecting! At the slums, you have to pay at least 1 rupee every time you go to the one squatting bathroom in your area and toilet paper is NOT included in that deal. Many people in India share one unsanitary outhouse with all of their neighbors and I only have to compete for bathroom time with my roommate. This situation reminds me of my bathroom at home and the one in the apartment I lived in last year at Concordia. I would get frustrated at not getting to take my shower at the time that I wanted to take it. In both situations I get to use a clean, well-maintained bathroom that comes complete with as much toilet paper as I need. Is this wasteful or just different and “modern” in stature? If we had fewer bathrooms in the US would we waste less toilet paper and water? Save trees, use your hand Indian style?...I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with not using toilet paper!

more, More, MORE!

Wow, so this last weekend was amazing in many ways. We celebrated the festival Onam on Friday: Legend has it that there was a great and wealthy king, named Mahabelli, who took good care of all the people in his kingdom. The god's grew jealous and one of them came down in the form of a small man. When Mahabelli noticed the little man he offered to help him and so the little man asked for 3 literal paces of land, which the king obliged him. Just then, the little man grew into a large giant, covering the whole earth with one step, the sky with another, and with the third he was going to step on Mahabelli's head, but just before he could, he granted Mahabelli a chance to come back to the earth once every year. The festival of Onam is to commemorate the return of Mahabelli, around harvest time, and to celebrate his return as a sign of prosperity.

We had a procession, ate a 26 course meal on banana leaves, and played traditional games. All the SJPD students got to serve the Bandhavi girls first before eating, which was really neat. A girl I feel especially close to, Shri Devi, fed me a banana chip as I served her, which is a sign of affection and it almost made me cry because it was such a beautiful gesture.

Then, it was time to go to the home stays for that weekend. I st

ayed with a Muslim family with the hopes of being able to fast with them during this month of Rhamadan. It was frustrating for me though because of rule #4: when Indians host you, you must eat and eat some more, even if you feel sick. I felt so yucky and tired due to jet lag...but I literally choked down some rice and dal and "skipped" off to bed. That whole weekend I felt yucky, being forced to eat and not being allowed to fast...which probably would have been very good for me. The family was very kind and hospitable, but not incredibly engaging...I also was unsure of what I could ask them about personally, and more importantly, what I couldn't ask them about. I did have a marvelous time playing with the 3 1/2 year old girl, Nashita,

and holding the beautiful little 3 moth old boy named Zahim. I was brought to a few American-looking places(Indian Target and Murices), but bought a couple Kurtahs(longer tunics you wear with pants) at a smaller shop- they are beautiful! Coming home to Visthar was amazing, and reflecting back on my home stay, it wasn't that bad, I just was too sick and culture stressed to enjoy it how I could have.

Today we all were charged with the task of hopping different buses in small groups and meeting at a large Basilica in the heart of Bangalore...Scary! The women and men enter different sides of the bus to avoid hassling

that usually takes place and they sit in their respective sides. I ended up sitting by a wonderful woman who was on the bus with her husband and twin daughters. What a blessing she was to us!

She was going to the same place as us and spoke great English so we got to know each other pretty well. When we got to our stop there were so many shops on the way to the basilica and she bought me and the other two girls in

our group our first set of bangles! I praise God for her and know that He helped me by sending her because I was super nervous about this trip and asked some friends to pray for me...He answers prayer!

At the basilica there were people lined up for 3 km and we would have had to wait a really long time to get up to the shrine, so our fearless leader told the officials were from Rome(the basilica is Roman Catholic) and they let us right up to the front. I felt devious but also kinda sad to play on the extreme prejudices of Indians. All around were little children, big children, adults who often had maimed themselves for sympathy, and many others who were begging us for money. We could not give them anything because it would encourage their begging and we should invest in good organizations that help them instead of supporting possible ring leaders in charge of the children or the adults who might use the money for drugs or who knows what else. :( It made me think of the movie "Slumdog Millionaire"

P.S.- I ate lamb brain today!!! Now that is a REALLY gross textured food MIKE!

This is what it looked like

Today was a really long day and we did so much...however, I'm not necessarily wanting to share the details of it because it was just so much to take in. Basically, we rode a bus for the fist time and went to a slum followed by going to an alabaster shopping mall of high-end, American stuff. Then we went and ate at a really amazing restaurant with large leaves for plates, the Hindu bull temple, botanical gardens in the south end of Bengaluru(Bangalore) and stopping at a tea stand where people stay around and chat over scalding chai before heading back in awful traffic. Um, lots to analyze and I'm so tired that the last couple nights I didn't eat supper(no worries, all meals are huge and filling so skipping a meal is not a big deal, and I have granola bars). We are all tired in the group but are keeping things cool for now.

#3- ask lots of questions or you run a high risk of insulting people, being insulted, or not learning near as much as you could otherwise. #4- do not look people directly in the eyes because that way you run the risk of appearing too friendly and thereby welcoming unwanted attention...it's hard to know how and who you can respectfully greet in what context and in what way, uftah!

I'm here!

I arrived in Bangalore just yesterday. The weather is in the upper 70's and I am full of anticipation! Yesterday was rough to try and stay awake because of the 10 1/2 hour time difference, all the information thrown at us about do's and don'ts for staying healthy in India and we also took a rather long walk into the nearest town after chai time and before dinner. My dorm is shared with a fellow group member named Ayah, and our pad comes complete with mosquito netting over the beds, one lock dresser for us each, and a full bathroom, it's way better than I had expected! The food here is amazing, as made by our head cook named Clara, but I am trying to only eat it in small doses so I don't get sick. Last night I wrote in my journal and joined the group for a singalong in the rec room upstairs before spending a night(American day) trying to adjust to the time difference...But this morning I woke up bright and cheery to the sound of our musical water filter I am so happy to be here! This morning we ate breakfast before commencing with our first class. Mercy, a leader at Visthar, lead our first class by asking us to each think of ourselves and our lives in terms of a river and to draw that river. We then presented our rivers to each other and it was illuminated that each of us had mad ourselves vulnerable to the rest of the group in sharing common themes of struggle, family/relationships, and a combination of mystery and a sense of purpose were evident in our group presentations. David, another leader of Visthar, told us that we are angry prophets who, if rooted in love, will be able to fulfill man purposes in this world. I feel so blessed to be here and to have an outlet for my passions for people and cultures!

I will be concluding each of my blogs with lessons I have learned here thus far, a kind of "how to survive India" type of thing if you will. #1- do not assume that your surge protector is compatible with the country's current, I plugged mine in and it crackled and sizzled in seconds, making my room stink of burnt plastic! #2- eating with only your right hand is absolutely necessary but not easy when it comes to having to tear bread one-handed and also being asked to pass a dish with your right hand, I get a little confused sometimes as to what is rude and what is normal!

P.S.- tonight is our inauguration ceremony at which we will be garlanded, sung to by the Bandhavi girls rescued from the Devidasi(God slaves literally translated), honored by a delegate, and we will sing "Lean on Me" as a representation of our culture!

It's coming up!

Well, it's August 12th and it's really starting to hit me that I will be leaving the country for almost 4 months in only 17 days!!! I went in and got 3 shots yesterday(Japanese encephilidus, Hep. A #2, and a TB booster) and my arms are sore...I also got an extensive prescription for malaria pills that I'll take every day in India and some hardcore good diarrhea medicine, YES!!! I saw some relatives for the last time until December and Mike gave me a promise ring...I'll wear it on my right hand! Wow, so much happening and so much to happen! After a trip to REI, target, and multiple garage sales, I think I have most of what I will need on my journey and can tie me over until I get to India. I've been reading In Spite of the Gods, by Edward Luce, this summer and feel as if I am starting to scratch the surface of what is going on with development in India...well, I'm just barely scratching the surface! My flight will be on August 29th at 5:05 from the Minneapolis/St. Paul Lindbergh terminal to Chicago, then to London and on to Bangalore!!! WAHOO!